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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays parents give more freedom to their children than in the past. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

#parents #freedom #children #development
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Thesedays
Suggestion
These days
,
chilren
a young person of either sex
children
 are given more independent than in the past years
.
Accept space
.
In my opinion, providing
healthy environment
Suggestion
a healthy environment
 to develop
chilren
a flow of electricity through a conductor
current
 skills freely can be beneficial both individual and society in many ways.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is
parents
Suggestion
parents'
parent's
 responsibility to encourage children to explore the world
throw
from beginning to end
through
 their five senses to learn new things and be successful with several
trial
Suggestion
trials
 and errors. Young children are very curious the things around him or her surroundings and providing
safe and friendly atmosphere
Suggestion
a safe and friendly atmosphere
 to learn
by
Suggestion
from
 them without teaching or distracting their imagination and creativity helps to make
a
Suggestion
an
 independent human later
on
Suggestion
in
 their
life
Suggestion
lives
.
Accept space
.
For example
Linking Words
, providing free playing activities
such
Linking Words
 as painting
,
Accept space
,
 drawing, dancing as well as playing with groups helps to develop
childs
Suggestion
a child's
child's
children
 social
,
Accept space
,
 physical
,
Accept space
,
 emotional as well as intellectual skills
wish
Suggestion
wishes
 helps to be
a
Suggestion
an
 intelligent citizen.
Secondly
Linking Words
, giving priority for personal preference rather than forcing children to have what parent wish is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial
.
Accept space
.
 Every child is unique and has a variety of talents and desires which can be used
to
Suggestion
for
in
 development of the country
.
Accept space
.
 Encouraging their inner souls to polish their talents without make them down is important to have a happy
,
Accept space
,
successful citizen
.
Accept space
.
For
instanse
an occurrence of something
instance
instances
, if a child likes to become a sport person and has a lot
talents parents
Accept comma addition
talents, parents
 should give support to be
a
Suggestion
an
athleties
a person trained to compete in sports
athlete
athletic
 rather than forcing him to be a doctor or
engineer
Suggestion
an engineer
.
Accept space
.
 In my opinion, I think, even though, In conclusion, giving freedom for children to explore the world and chose their
life time
the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death)
lifetime
 career helps to have well rounded future generation. .
Submitted by maheshimk on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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