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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. to what extend do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Prisoners should put behind the bars but some prisoners are not in to. They could be made to do unpaid
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I am going to discuss about prisoners who need to put
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
jail
Use synonyms
 and others not to.
Linking Words
However others
Accept comma addition
However, others
 should do
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
instaed
in place of, or as an alternative to
instead
 of going to
jail
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Firstly we
Accept comma addition
Firstly, we
 need to
categarize
place into or assign to a category
categorize
categorise
 the prisoners who need to punish hardly. It will not be an easy task.
becouse
Suggestion
Because
Becouse
that is
Linking Words
 a
though
not given to gentleness or sentimentality
tough
 task for
judisury
Suggestion
the judiciary
judiciary
. There are people coming from
good
Suggestion
well
 educated
backgroud
a person's social heritage: previous experience or training
background
 and they even know what are the good and bad thing in
society
Use synonyms
. But with a silly mistake, that
person
Use synonyms
 can be a prisoner. In example, a
lecturer
Use synonyms
 or a teacher driving a vehicle and without being
notice
Suggestion
noticed
 a
pedesterian
lacking wit or imagination
pedestrian
 can accident and he may die
due accident
Suggestion
due to accident
due accidentally
due accidentally accidentally
.
Finally
Linking Words
 the
lecturer
Use synonyms
 will become a prisoner and he should go to
jail
Use synonyms
. But my
openion
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinion
 is, he
haven't done
Suggestion
hasn't done
hadn't done
 it intentionally. It was a mistake. He is a
lecturer
Use synonyms
 who
raise
Suggestion
raises
number
Suggestion
a number
 of good
student
Suggestion
students
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
this
Linking Words
 world. So judges should identify specifically
this
Linking Words
 kind of people and they need to rehabilitate them and put
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 unpaid
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
.
while
Suggestion
While
 the
lecturer
Use synonyms
 doing
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 he can teach students.
Linking Words
Secondly there
Accept comma addition
Secondly, there
 might be a fake
person
Use synonyms
 who is coming from
bad family backgroud
Suggestion
the bad family background
bad family background
. But he might have a good heart. He could be a helpful
person
Use synonyms
 to
society
Use synonyms
. Same incident happen to him and police claim he is a driver who
kill
Suggestion
kills
 innocent
pedesterian
lacking wit or imagination
pedestrians
also
Linking Words
 police report to
court
Suggestion
the court
 that his
backgroud
a person's social heritage: previous experience or training
background
 is bad and he should go to
jail
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of unpaid
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
.
Court order
Suggestion
The court orders
Court orders
 him to put behind the bars. But actually he is a good
person
Use synonyms
. My
openion
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinion
 is to have proper mechanism to identify the people who are helpful to the
society
Use synonyms
,
eventhough
Suggestion
even though
 they did not make any good or bad thing in recent history.
This
Linking Words
 mechanism could be a point system
integrade
formed or united into a whole
integrated
integrate
integrates
 with
person
Use synonyms
 NIC or driving license. In Conclusion. Some people should put
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
jail
Use synonyms
 and some people does not.
they
Suggestion
They
 have to put
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
jail
Use synonyms
. After seeing these people, younger generation
get
Suggestion
gets
 advice that to help to the
society
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 at least
a
Suggestion
an
 innocent people can have a change if they did any mistake to the
society
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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