IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Technology has enabled the mass production of goods with the use of machines. Discuss the merits and demerits of mechanized production

The mass manufacturing field is significantly impacted by new technologies.
Although
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 there are positive sides of the automated industry , like more rapid production of goods , drawbacks include risks of processing in the incorrect order and the lack of quality.
This
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 essay will examine both positive and negative sides of
this
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 trend before providing my own opinion. On the one hand ,
mechanization
Change the spelling
mechanisation
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 huge benefits for corporations.
For instance
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, by using automated machines ,robots and other tools , the quantity of products will rise significantly ,as they can help to do multiple tasks faster at the same time .
Moreover
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 , directors who own businesses could see many benefits in the use of technological devices. Some entrepreneurs believe that it could be cheaper than hiring classified professionals , so they would rather invest in emerging electronic components and automated factories than look for a huge number of responsible and highly skilled specialists.
On the other hand
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, trusting robotics completely has its own risks.
For example
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, computers or robots which significantly depend on electricity and the Internet can lose track of order or stop working completely if there is a shutdown. That can cause a huge delay and poor-quality products. From my own perspective, it is necessary important to find a balance in both mechanised and human-based production.
While
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 using new machinery can accelerate the mass manufacturing and quantity , people still have to monitor the whole process in order to prevent any negative outcomes. In conclusion , technologies can significantly shape the production industry if people consider controlling and watching over the process

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Task Response
Your essay shows the topic and uses clear signs like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. To lift your score, add full examples for each point and link them clearly to your view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas in clear paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and finish with a link to the next idea.
Task Response
You give a view and you talk about both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a plan with introduction, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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