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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view.

#people #animals #captivity #zoos #humans #debate
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Zoos continue to be controversial, even now that they have evolved into ‘animal parks’ or similar facilities. Most people love animals, and there are strong views on both sides, which I will discuss now. People opposed to zoos highlight the unnatural way in which animals live in
such
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 places.
For example
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, captive animals do not need to hunt or raise offspring, and
this
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 means that they are not living as nature intended.
Furthermore
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, the anti-zoo lobby point out that animals probably suffer mentally when kept in captivity, even if their surroundings are spacious and similar to the natural
habitat
Use synonyms
. Symptoms of mental issues range from repetitive behaviour to eating disorders, and these are often seen in captive animals.
Lastly
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, it is often said that zoos add little to animal conservation, which is better served by preserving their
habitat
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
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, those who support zoos say that in most cases, they offer a secure and peaceful setting for animals,
for instance
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 in high quality wildlife parks or reserves. They add that in many cases, the animals would suffer from loss of
habitat
Use synonyms
 or poaching in the wild, and in captivity they are at least safe and able to breed successfully.
Finally
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, zoo enthusiasts feel that zoos and animal parks are part of an integrated system of protecting animals, involving
habitat
Use synonyms
 protection, breeding programmes and disease control.
This
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 all helps to safeguard endangered species and
thus
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 preserve the global ecosystem for the future benefit of all life forms. Overall, I feel that zoos provide a valuable service to society and the animal world, as they help to protect many species.
This
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 outweighs their possible disadvantages, as long as they are properly staffed and maintained.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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