IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service even if this means the latest medical treatment may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#country #health #service #treatment
In the world today, the importance of
health
 care services cannot be overemphasized, which is why it should be made available at no cost to the citizens.
However
, I do not believe that
this
 should be at the expense of quality medical advancements.
Firstly
, the outcome of any medical service provided is very important and
this
 has been improved to a great extent by modern medical development. Now, making diagnosis and treatment is easier and less invasive.
For example
, using a
laparoscopic
 machine to perform the surgery has reduced the risk of surgical site infections and surgical scars.
Furthermore
, providing completely free
health
 services creates a financial burden on the government. Funds from other important sectors like education and provision of social amenities would be diverted into the
health
 system. When
this
 becomes difficult, it could lead to a collapse in the
health
 system.
This
 is why the government has designed a
health
 insurance policy that has made
health
 care both affordable and sustainable.
On the other hand
, more people would benefit from medical management when it is free. Citizens that are financially handicapped would be able to afford quality
health
 care which would, in turn, improve the overall
health
 status. In conclusion, delivering
health
 services to members of the society at no cost is important, but
this
 should not replace quality and modern medicine which helps in making an accurate diagnosis, prompt treatment, and improved outcome.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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