Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? what other factors contribute towards happiness?

No one can buy
happiness
with
money but
Accept comma addition
money, but
some people believe that
money
is the most important in human
life
and they think
money
can buy everything which is necessary to live easily. On the one hand,
money
can buy the luxuries of
life
for every individual. Rich
people
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
ear more and more
money
to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
the needs of their families and try their best to buy each and every comfort with
money
.
For example
, wealthy people spend excessive
money
on the wedding of their daughters and provide to expensive dresses,
jewelry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
or cars but they can never purchase the pleasure for her. These things can give
comfort but
Accept comma addition
comfort, but
relations matters, who give
happiness
.
Money
helps one to lead a comfortable
life
and helps children to get better education and if anyone needs medical treatment it is useful in that
situations
Suggestion
situation
.
Nevertheless
, poor people
also
earn
money
for their children, try to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
the needs of their
families even
Accept comma addition
families, even
with
Suggestion
in
small amounts, provides them
better future
Suggestion
a better future
.
On the other hand
,
happiness
is precious, can never be sold out at any cost.
Happiness
comes from the inner soul of the body in
human being
Suggestion
human beings
the human being
. Spending time with family is the key to
happiness
. Having much
money
is unlikely to increase
happiness but
Accept comma addition
happiness, but
too much
money
can
also
destroy the peace of mind. Success in career, excellent results in education, getting good news from family members
are
Suggestion
is
some of the way of enjoying
happiness
.
Happiness
can be seen in every
aspects
Suggestion
aspect
of
life
for instance
, a new born baby smile gives
happiness
to parents, a child standing
first
in class gives
happiness
to their family,
first drop
Suggestion
the first drop
of the rain provides pleasure to the farmer.
there
Suggestion
There
are lots of examples which causes
happiness
. In conclusion, I believe that that
money
gives everything which are needs today but it can never provide the inner soul peace satisfaction
Submitted by mdtanviralam66 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promoting happiness
  • Essential factors
  • Financial stability
  • Material wealth
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Contentment
  • Basic needs
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Social connections
  • Pursuing passions
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Spiritual practices
  • Personal growth
  • Community service
  • Societal contribution
  • Philanthropy
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Prosperity
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