IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe, it is important to spend more time developing a successful career, while others believe it is important to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the amount of people spends
time
Use synonyms
 on working is very huge. Especially, they do not care their families, kids and their friends. I think
,
Accept space
,
this
Linking Words
 might be a disaster of society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the demand of making moneys is a lot, it addicted everyone to waste
time
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of hanging out and have fun with their family. May be making moneys is the best methods to live, but can we live without non emotional
?
Accept space
?
 Sad that the governments do not have any policy to reduce
this
Linking Words
. So everyone must have their awareness in how important it effects
to
Suggestion
in
 our life. With me, I tend to agree with some people who have a look to their family and friends, we are not the robots, we
working
Suggestion
are working
work
 but we have to spend
time
Use synonyms
 to do more important things. Actually, I am a hard-working person, I do may things to consolidate my position in life, but
also
Linking Words
 I never forget my families, I always have fun with them if I have free
time
Use synonyms
. Hopefully, everyone will know
this
Linking Words
 like me, and fix it to yourself.
Submitted by tkmjt2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: