It is better for people to be unemployed than being employed with a job they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job

It is often believed that being unemployed is better than doing a

job

which

person

Correct article usage

a person

show examples

does not enjoy. In my opinion, I think that

instead

of staying idle it is always better to do a

job

as it is

also

a source of income.

This

essay will explain the same.

One

of the reasons for doing any available

job

is that it will give a chance to earn money which can be used for

one

's betterment.

One

can

also

do some

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

employment to support pursuing a career of their choice.

For example

, if someone wants to become an actor and is not getting a better play or cinema of his or her choice,

then

they can do a

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

job

till that time.

Secondly

empty

Add an article

an empty

show examples

mind is the

devils

Change noun form

devil's

show examples

home. Seating idle is not the best option or an excuse to get an offer in

one

's field of choice.

This

approach not only may lead to more negativity in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

may provoke criminal behaviour in

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation.

In addition

this

, doing a

job

in different fields gives a chance to learn a vast set of skills which

ultimately

Add a missing verb

is ultimately

show examples

beneficial for a dream career. These days, we see that every field is related to every other field to a certain extent, having experience in different fields will help a person to excel in his or her dream career.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

development in

Correct article usage

the IT

show examples

industry works closely with the business operations of many other industries.

To conclude

, I strongly think that rather than being unemployed and doing nothing, it is always better to accept any

job

not only to support life's betterment but

also

to improve business and interpersonal skills.

Submitted by dsmnsam on Sat Jan 04 2020

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task response

Provide a clear opinion on the topic and address all aspects of the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs and across the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is better for people to be unemployed than being employed with a job they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think paintings and drawings are as important as other education. What do you think?

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In many countries, crimes rates amongst younger people has been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?