IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, men and women are having children at later age than in the past. What are the reasons for this development ? Do advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #men #women #children #age #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As is known, these days, most of the couples decide to have babies at later ages than in the past. It has been utterly debated that having children at over 25, 26 and later can lead to some problems. As far as I am concerned,
this
Linking Words
 tendency brings about more upsides than downsides. On the negative side, having a child in the early years of marriage may make family much happier and more family-oriented. They can take care of each other and their babies attentively as they are young and might think other aspects which cannot be thought by the older couples.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even a majority of wives are working at their 30s, recently which inhibit them for looking after their babies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children may grow up without any control,
as a result
Linking Words
 of which they can use harmful habits
such
Linking Words
 as drugs, alcohol, juvenile delinquency. In spite of evident drawbacks, I still believe that having a baby at late ages has more benefits for families. The vital advantage of it is that most couples are married in university period,
consequently
Linking Words
 they cannot both do homework, and control their babies. It results in they have a child at late ages and with efficient methods.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, life
expenses witness
Accept comma addition
expenses, witness
 a significant increase;
therefore
Linking Words
 most couples ought not to decide to have a baby without a job. Parents should meet all requirements because growing a child demand for financial responsibilities in a wide range of countries. By way of conclusion, I believe that the merits of having babies at late age are of more significance when are compared to the demerits.
Submitted by ulvuferecov002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: