Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

#celebrities #film #stars #sportsmen #pop #musicians #money #jobs

An unlimited access to any information has changed the world in a way which can't be reversed. The popularity of some people called celebrities

Suggestion

are

their main source of financial benefits. Personally, I think that celebrities have their right to be paid a lot and it is a consequence of the structure of the modern retail system.

First

of all, entertainment has become

such

a remarkable sphere only recently when the pace of life increased. People's expectations of life are high, because everything seems achievable. Everybody knows that to work hard is a hallmark of a successful person, and

such

an approach could cause a depression and tiredness. An ability to relieve is just as crucial as an ability to drink water. Due to

this

, it's logical and natural to celebrities to have

such

an influence of the society. Jobs, which our community really needs, should be paid the most. No arguments exist that

this

rule cannot be applied to celebrities as well, because they are important members of our community.

In addition

this

, one of the laws of the

market

now is to pay a lot of professions, which have a high demand.

This

is a direct consequence of the capitalism. According to

this

, if celebrities are needed by many people, they totally deserve to be paid well. Even their importance doesn't matter. An example of

this

general rule is a tendency to pay high salaries to software developers. They have become important only recently, because a tremendous

market

of software appeared. Laws of financial flows continue to work according to their nature of capitalism. In conclusion, humanity has a well-established economic system, which works according to its initial structure. Many effects of

this

could seem controversial, but they are totally justified. The distribution of salaries is as honest as it is ruled by the

market

laws. The

market

itself should decide which jobs should be paid.

Submitted by nika.sokolova.16 on Sat Jan 04 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision.