Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Noawadays
Suggestion
Nowadays
entertainment industries are
gorwing
(biology) the process of an individual organism growing organically; a purely biological unfolding of events involved in an organism changing gradually from a simple to a more complex level
growing
in every country across the globe. Some people
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
believes
that actors, singers and sports person should pay more
money
. I agree that they deserve
such
a huge
amount but
Accept comma addition
amount, but
, there are some other professions like armies who put their
life
in
Suggestion
at
risk should pay higher.
To begin
with, in
this
modern era we have seen significant improvement in the entertainment industries than earlier because of massive improvement in the technology. These are less depends on
government
and pay high taxes.
For instance
playing sports in different countries not only it
strngthen
Suggestion
strengthens
strengthen
the economy while collecting
money
from
audience
Suggestion
the audience
also
stronger their tourism industry
consequently
increase
employement
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
opportunities.
Similarly
, actors and pop musicians increase their profit while arranging different concerts across the world.
Thus
Suggestion
This
sportsman and artist make
money
from spectators
therefore
government
should encourage their efforts performance while providing them required facilities.
Secondly
, there is
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
profession that should not be ignoring paying them extra
such
as national army who put their
life
on
Suggestion
at
risk. Protection is the essential priority of each individual because without proper
security we
Accept comma addition
security, we
can not
can not
cannot
enjoy our
life
despite having full entertainment facilities. Paying them low wage it will lose their motivation
therefore
it is the responsibility of the
government
increasing
defence budget
Suggestion
the defence budget
to make our national heroes more
poweful
having great power or force or potency or effect
powerful
.
For
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
united state the average army income is 10% higher than other profession that make US army one of the
stronges
having strength or power greater than average or expected
strongest
strangest
strings
in the world. In conclusion, artist
make
Suggestion
makes
a lot of
money
which
is less rely
Suggestion
is less relying
has less relied
is less rely
on
government
and paying that boost
country
Suggestion
country's
economy
Accept comma addition
economy, however
however
human
life
is more important so I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
that strengthen the
militiry
of or relating to the study of the principles of warfare
military
force may secure our country.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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