IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners. Discuss both systems and state which you think is better.

#countries #marriages #parents #cases #people #marriage #partners #systems
In some part of the world it is
believe th
Suggestion
is believed
at spouse are selected by their parents.
However
, in other instances, individual choose their sou
lmates. I
Suggestion
soul mates
n my opi
nion I co
Accept comma addition
opinion, I
nsider that it is better people select their life partner. On the
one
 hand, persons who opine that ind
ividual ou
Suggestion
individuals
an individual
the individual
ght to be the
one
 to organise their partner do so because adults have the right to make their own decision and I agree with
this
 view. Simply put, they are gro
wn-ups an
Suggestion
grown-up
d are in bet
ter position to
Suggestion
a better position
 know what they want and make app
ropriate and favourable decision fo
Suggestion
appropriate and favourable decisions
an appropriate and favourable decision
the appropriate and favourable decision
r themselves.
Thi
s likely, w
Accept comma addition
This, likely
ill make and sustain a successful
marriage
 for a longer period of time. Exa
mple ca
Suggestion
An example
The example
n be seen in a research conducted by Adewale T e
t al
Accept comma addition
T, et
, on principle of marrying well in the Western Nigeria. The study showed that 85 percent of relationship which was arranged by the couple themselves stand the test of time than the
one
 selected by their parents 35 percent.
Hence
, the need for persons to select their sou
lmates.
Suggestion
soul mates
On the other hand
, societies which believe that parents should be the
one
 to organise
marriage
 for their children do so because of cul
ture an
Suggestion
cultural
d social norms.
In other words
, they tend to follow str
ictly the tradition of
Suggestion
strictly to the tradition
 their land with the hope that
such
 arrangements will be beneficial to the couple and most importantly preserve the relationship.
For example
, many
mar
riage in
Suggestion
marriages
 the tra
ditionalistic pa
one who adheres to traditional views
traditionalist
rt of South Sudan were organised by their parents. In conclusion,
although
 some parents choose lif
e partner fo
Suggestion
a life partner
r their children
as a result
 of culture and tradition of their society, it is sensible to conclude that it is better individual select their mates for
marriage
 because they will make a rightful and positive decision for themselves. 290 words.
Submitted by urianferdinand on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!