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Writing Samples
Band 5

The length of working week does not reflect mordern lifestyle needs. It should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time and time with their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#length #week #mordern #lifestyle #people #leisure #time #families
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These days, more and more people
are engaged
Suggestion
engage
 in different kinds of job
inorder
Suggestion
in order
 to make ends meet
therefore
Linking Words
 little or no
time
Use synonyms
 is spent with loved ones.
However
Linking Words
, it is argued by some people that duration of the working
week
Use synonyms
 should be modified to provide leisure
time
Use synonyms
 for families and their relatives. In my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 essay because family bonding will be established and its negative effect on health will be prevented. Admittedly, some people opine that the length of working
week
Use synonyms
 should be reduced because it decreases family bonding. In
mordern
belonging to the modern era; since the Middle Ages
modern
Modern
 times, individuals are faced with different workload and challenges
such
Linking Words
 that if not accomplished, could be to the detriment one's job or income.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to meet up with these demands, parents
are forced
Suggestion
were forced
 to work overtime only to return home late at night already worn out and as
such
Linking Words
, little or no
time
Use synonyms
 is spent with their children, depriving them the necessary love and care they deserve.
This
Linking Words
 results in breakdown in family happiness.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
some parents work on weekends
hence
Linking Words
, little or no supervision is exerted on their wards. They may go about
commiting
perform an act, usually with a negative connotation
committing
 crimes without the consent of their guardians.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, reduction in the length of working hours will go a long way in reducing health related issues caused by stress
such
Linking Words
 as mental disorder. Recent studies have shown that the activity of the
cerebrum which
Accept comma addition
cerebrum, which
 is responsible for thinking and movement control tends to diminish when over worked.
This
Linking Words
 could be
as a result
Linking Words
 of workload and pressure that arises from the work
environment
Accept comma addition
environment, thus
thus
Linking Words
, deprives the individual from spending quality
time
Use synonyms
 with family. In conclusion, the duration of working
week
Use synonyms
 does not reflect
mordern lifestyle
Suggestion
the modern lifestyle
modern lifestyle
 which could result in decrease in family bonding and
also
Linking Words
 affect our health mentally and physically.
Linking Words
Therefore i
Accept comma addition
Therefore, I
Therefore I
 strongly argue that longer working
week
Use synonyms
 should be reduced.
Submitted by urianferdinand on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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