The length of working week does not reflect mordern lifestyle needs. It should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time and time with their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree

These days, more and more people
are engaged
Suggestion
engage
in different kinds of job
inorder
Suggestion
in order
to make ends meet
therefore
little or no
time
is spent with loved ones.
However
, it is argued by some people that duration of the working
week
should be modified to provide leisure
time
for families and their relatives. In my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
agree with
this
essay because family bonding will be established and its negative effect on health will be prevented. Admittedly, some people opine that the length of working
week
should be reduced because it decreases family bonding. In
mordern
belonging to the modern era; since the Middle Ages
modern
Modern
times, individuals are faced with different workload and challenges
such
that if not accomplished, could be to the detriment one's job or income.
Therefore
, to meet up with these demands, parents
are forced
Suggestion
were forced
to work overtime only to return home late at night already worn out and as
such
, little or no
time
is spent with their children, depriving them the necessary love and care they deserve.
This
results in breakdown in family happiness.
In addition
,
Accept space
,
some parents work on weekends
hence
, little or no supervision is exerted on their wards. They may go about
commiting
perform an act, usually with a negative connotation
committing
crimes without the consent of their guardians.
Furthermore
, reduction in the length of working hours will go a long way in reducing health related issues caused by stress
such
as mental disorder. Recent studies have shown that the activity of the
cerebrum which
Accept comma addition
cerebrum, which
is responsible for thinking and movement control tends to diminish when over worked.
This
could be
as a result
of workload and pressure that arises from the work
environment
Accept comma addition
environment, thus
thus
, deprives the individual from spending quality
time
with family. In conclusion, the duration of working
week
does not reflect
mordern lifestyle
Suggestion
the modern lifestyle
modern lifestyle
which could result in decrease in family bonding and
also
affect our health mentally and physically.
Therefore i
Accept comma addition
Therefore, I
Therefore I
strongly argue that longer working
week
should be reduced.
Submitted by urianferdinand on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: