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Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

7. Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think the modern world makes people more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #world
The modernisation has made some individuals either to be more reliant to each other or,
conversely
, to be independent of the other.
However
, in my viewpoint, as the time has progressed, the modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past.
This
 essay will investigate both very topical debates as a deeper reason. People who advocate that we become interdependent in
this
 modern era, due to their minds in requiring others to fulfil their necessities.
First
 and foremost, the interaction with others is essential for them, it is extremely supported the workers in their activities.
For instance
, most of the officers would have to rely on laundry service, restaurant, housemaid, cleaning service and many others to easily undergo their daily activities.
Moreover
, to have a standard living, the parents have to earn a lot of money for their families. By means, the children need to depend on their parents until they could get a job.
On the other hand
, I would agree that humans nowadays are more independent.
Firstly
, the advanced technology is referring to the self-reliant for each individual in
this
 era. To exemplify, most of students would prefer to study through the internet
instead
 of having neither tutor nor private teacher. Other kinds of sophisticated things as modern tools and devices
such
 as vacuum cleaner, washing machine etc., which could replace the housemaid.
Besides
, the common services could
also
 be replaced by the competent system. Taking travel application for touring around the world as an instance which is a preferred way for many people. By way of conclusion,
although
, some humans believe that they have to depend to others, yet I personally state that we are more independent of others in
this
 contemporary
instead
.
Submitted by ishmameliaz29 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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