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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women
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The fact that men are more competitive than women is debatable Some people think that males are by nature more competitive than females.
This
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 essay will discuss why males are in fact more competitive than females.
Firstly
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, we live in a world where men are still seemed as the main source of income for the household.
Although
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, women
too
in the direction of
to
 work and earn, they are still not considered the primary means of income.
As a result
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, from the beginning, men have a drive to do better and better to make their family
happier
Suggestion
happy
 and satisfied and simultaneously, in their subconscious mind, men become more competitive.
Secondly
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, in my opinion, a woman considers everyone a winner and doesn’t believe in being competitive.
On the other hand
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, a man believes that to stay ahead in life one needs to keep pushing himself, which means to work above and beyond.
Although
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 exceptions could be there, I believe, in general, men want to take the responsibility on their shoulder and feel they are the reason if their family is not financially stable.
Thirdly
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, if we go back to when a person is a child. Parents teach their sons to protect their sisters, giving the boy motivation to become
more stronger
Suggestion
stronger
 than others to protect his sister and
hence
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 becoming competitive.
Moreover
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, if a boy is a single
child
Accept comma addition
child, then
then
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 the boy would feel that he should look after his parents, which means to work hard and become successful, and help them when they get old. To conclude,
a men
expression used at the end of prayers, meaning So be it
amen
,
since
Suggestion
from
 his childhood is exposed to
a
Suggestion
an
 environment in which he believes that he is the binding force of the family, while a
women
Suggestion
woman
 might not feel the same.
As a result
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, men are more competitive than women.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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