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Band 5

Young people are often influenced by others in the same age in their behaviour and situations. This is called "peer group pressure". Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

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Introduction
It has been commonly debated that a vast majority of youthful people are often are often impacted by other people in the identical age in their behaviour and status. As far as I am concerned,
this
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 tendency brings about more advantages than disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
On the negative sides, always people know new people and should communicate with them for vital things
such
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 as work and education.
In particular
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,
the youngest
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the young
the younger
 people
be
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are
are being
 more enthusiastic than other people for knowing new people.
However
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,
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,
 they cannot learn positive things from each
people
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person
. They can have malicious habits like smoking or drinking,
as a result
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 of which immature people might do them.
In addition
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, there are some people who
tells
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tell
 a lie and persuades young people to detrimental addictions
.
Accept space
.
For instance
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, particularly aged
of
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about
from
 15- 20 people are deceived easily by malign people. In some countries in the world the level of young people who smokes and commits a crime is considerably high. I think that the main reason is that people who are approximately the same age with them have a harmful
effects
Suggestion
effect
 on these people.
Body paragraph 2
Despite the evident drawbacks, I still believe that peer group pressure has more benefits for developing young people. The major advantage of
this
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 is that there are a large number of people who cannot describe their behaviour or opinion;
therefore
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,
effects
Suggestion
the effects
 of other people are crucial for these people.
Moreover
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,
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,
 sometimes the youths might not obtain achievement in any work
,
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,
as a result
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 of which they do not interest
this
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 work.
For example
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, when Michael Phelps was young he could not acquire any achievement.
As a result
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,
Accept space
,
 he wanted to leave swimming;
however
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,
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,
 three years later he returned swimming with many friends
,
Accept space
,
 so he and his friends are 8-time Olympic champion.
Conclusion
By way of conclusion, I believe that the merits of peer group pressure are of more significance when compared to demerits. I recommend that
the youngest
Suggestion
the young
 people should be careful when communicate with other people.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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