Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Presently, with the advancements in
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
technology
people
are showing interest to
Change preposition
in working
work
even on holidays. So, certain people
opine that technology
plays a major role in making their lives
more tedious. Indeed, the best way to counter these problems to
experience their Add a missing verb
is to
lives
by completely eliminating it
. I agree with Correct pronoun usage
them
this
viewpoint and suggest my opinion.
Firstly
, the computer plays a major role in every person's life, while
most of them cannot imagine their Correct word choice
and
lives
without it. These devices help them to complete their work
easily, but they are causing a lot of damage to their personal lives
. A research
stated Remove the article
Research
90
% of the Correct word choice
that 90
people
, who were working as software professionals, got divorced because they were not good at managing their social life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Secondly
, mobile phones were
another Wrong verb form
are
devices
that Fix the agreement mistake
device
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
a
huge damage to Remove the article
apply
the
public health. Correct article usage
apply
Besides
, these devices are considered as
the most addictive tools in Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
modern day
gadgets. Add a hyphen
modern-day
For instance
, the majority of the work
in the 20th century had
completed by using Verb problem
was
the
mobile phones.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, with the improvements in technology
people
were able to finish their task
within the deadline, but they were not able to improve social communication in society. Though these Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
people
earn a
plenty of money and stature in their life, Remove the article
apply
but
they Remove the conjunction
apply
were
not willing to establish new connections in society and Wrong verb form
are
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
work
for the welfare of the
surroundings.
In conclusion, Change the word
their
technology
had
helped a lot in improving public Wrong verb form
has
lives
, but people
started focusing only on earning money and other activities. In addition
, the public should start working for the welfare of society and establish a good relationship with their neighbours.Submitted by 151fa04164 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more focused and present a clear position on the topic.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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