IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe the best way to happier society is to ensure there are only small differences between the rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As is known, over a few decades in some countries in the world all people are separated two groups as wealthy and impoverished.
Therefore
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, some suggest that a vast majority of people believe the best method to more cheerful in society is to ensure rich and destitute people differ from each other. I somewhat agree with the above-mentioned idea as the arguments for and against it are equal.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the provided argument The major reason why I think that the governments ought not to discriminate between people is that because almost all people have the same rights. To be more specific, there are some differences between people who are not similar in their monetary value.
However
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, these differences cannot allow people to respect other people in a different aspects. One clear example of
this
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 is in some countries, particularly in the Asian countries rich families do not allow their children
to
Suggestion
To
 marry another person who is a member of a poor family. From another angle, I am
also
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 convinced that governments should set some penalties for people who separate people,
as a result
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 of which they do not respect impoverished members of humanity.
Moreover
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, authorities ought to build public buildings
such
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 as schools or hospitals which are used by all people without paying money.
This
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 is because if governments build these kinds of constructions, all members of humanity use them simultaneously,
as a result
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 of which they do not feel any differences between them.
For instance
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, in some European cities which are the best according to the lifestyle of dwellers almost all public places like schools, colleges or hospitals free of charge. In summary, considering the above-mentioned reasons, I somehow agree that if all people are not discriminated each other according to their monetary value, forming a happy society is possible. I recommend that all people can respect each other without considering monetary levels.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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