IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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In recent decades, many countries are providing
free health service
Suggestion
free health services
a free health service
 to their people.
However
Linking Words
, they argue that some treatments are
cost
Suggestion
costly
 due to using expensive medical equipment in the methods. I believe, they will
also
Linking Words
 become free if certain implementations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline them with some examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many governments are usually
deducting
Suggestion
deducted
 the amount from their peoples' income in term of tax. It ranges from infrastructure to medical science developments. In
such
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 a case, the government will extra
money
Use synonyms
 from people in dealing with medical treatments are incurring more cost.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by
World Health Organisation
Suggestion
the World Health Organisation
 that the people
from
Suggestion
of
 Cuba are paying more
money
Use synonyms
 for
medical tax
Accept comma addition
medical, tax
 in order to get an expensive treatments without any cost.
Secondly
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, the Government will hire the medical equipment which
are using
Suggestion
is used
 in the treatments.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the Government will save more
money
Use synonyms
 and people
also
Linking Words
 get
benefit
Suggestion
the benefit
 of them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the Government will develop other areas and
multiple
Suggestion
multiply
 their
incomes
Accept comma addition
incomes, then
then
Linking Words
 spend them for Hospital infrastructure and developments. To exemplify, a local newspaper from Tanzania stated that the Government of Tanzania
drawn
Suggestion
has drawn
is drawn
drew
 a program and called the investors for the business opportunities.
Thus
Linking Words
, they received a good profit and spend them for medical developments. To conclude, every government across the globe should have the responsibility to implement
free health service
Suggestion
a free health service
free health services
 to people which includes all treatments without any
money
Use synonyms
. To accomplish
this
Linking Words
, the Government should announce various schemes and organize programmes for their medical
services
Suggestion
service
 improvements.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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