IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The given table illustrates the proportions of attendance in secondary schools in India. These values are given from 2000 to 2015 with a gap of 5 years.

The given table illustrates the proportions of attendance in secondary schools in India. These values are given from 2000 to 2015 with a gap of 5 years.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table illustrates the proportions of attendance in secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 in India. These values are given from 2000 to 2015 with a gap of 5 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the table is that the
percentages
Use synonyms
 of
convent run
Add a hyphen
convent-run
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 were immensely high in all given years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
percentages
Use synonyms
 of government
schools
Use synonyms
 in the village were significantly lower when compared to other
schools
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the attendance of government
schools
Use synonyms
 in the city was 62% in the year 2000 and these values increased substantially over the years and
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 at 78% in 2015. Even though the proportions of government
schools
Use synonyms
 in villages were lower, they continuously rose from 24% in 2000 to 44% in the year 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
percentages
Use synonyms
 of general English medium
schools
Use synonyms
 decreased from 52% to 49% in 2005 before rising to 54% in 2010 and 59% in 2015.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
convent run
Add a hyphen
convent-run
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 were the highest attendance
percentages
Use synonyms
 among all others which is 80.5% in 2000 and 89% in 2015.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words schools, percentages with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: