IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter • introduce yourself • explain what is wrong with the furniture • say what action you would like the landlord to take You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .................,

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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr

The abbreviated title Mr. seems to be punctuated incorrectly. Consider changing the punctuation.

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 Salem,
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, let me introduce myself. I am Mostapha Helou, who is
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 resident of apartment K8 in
Al
Correct article usage
the Al

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 Jawhari complex
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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yours
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. I am writing to you to report our dissatisfaction
of
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the state of some of the commodities which reside in our rented flat.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, with all the bad
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions

It seems that condition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 that most of the living room's furniture suffers, I am shedding the light on
even
Correct article usage
the even

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 worse state of the kitchen. The sink keeps on getting blocked even after the smallest amount of water
spilled
Change the spelling
spilt

The spelling of spilled is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 within.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most of
the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before its. Consider deleting the article.

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its
Replace the word
it's
it is

It appears that the possessive pronoun its should be a contraction instead. Consider changing it.

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 closets have loose or broken shelves, which makes it impossible to store anything in them. I am humbly requesting you to drop us a visit to check the damages within the apartment, assess, and take drastic measures to make it habitable.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 would make our stay more pleasant and your mind better relieved from complaints. Thanks in advance for your fine understanding and kind consideration. Waiting to hear from you the soonest. Regards, Mostapha Helou

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dear
  • I am writing to express my dissatisfaction
  • regarding
  • the condition
  • furniture
  • belongings
  • for instance
  • damaged
  • broken
  • worn-out
  • appliance
  • household items
  • it is unacceptable
  • inconvenient
  • inhabitable
  • affecting
  • negatively
  • urgent attention
  • replacement
  • repair
  • resolve
  • maintenance
  • prompt response
  • Thank you for your attention
  • Yours sincerely
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