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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individual and society?

#people #countries #effect #society
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It has been observed that people in numerous nations are sleeping less than they used to in the past. Addiction to mobile phones is a vital reason behind
this
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 issue. It has impacted 
humans
Suggestion
human
humans'
 health, and
society
Use synonyms
 has
also
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 become aggressive than before. The introduction of portable devices and social networking sites
has deteriorated
Suggestion
have deteriorated
 the sleeping hours of a person. It has been observed that if a person is going to sleep, he tends to spend a couple of hours of his rest time on Facebook or Whatsapp in most developed or developing countries. According to a recent survey of BBC, youngsters spend more than 8 hours of their day in updating their status on social media or in checking others' social accounts.
Consequently
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, they sacrifice their sleep hours. If
this
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 tendency will hold for a couple of decades in the younger generation their future will be affected harshly. As people are deducting their nap hours, it has detrimental effects on their mental health. Creativity among the masses has decreased to the lowest level in the past couple of years because they aren't taking adequate sleep which a human body requires to work efficiently. The paucity of sleep is
also
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 making them
short-tempered which
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short-tempered, which
 is disastrous for
society
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. People with fewer rest hours found themselves in an altercation over a minor issue. These changes are making the community intolerable. Its the liability of every individual to take proper rest to have a healthy body and for a productive
society
Use synonyms
. To conclude, with the above-discussed 
points it's
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points, it's
 evident that excessive use of electronic devices and social network channels are the main causes of the reduced sleep hours of a person. It has affected the mental health of an individual and has
increase
Suggestion
increased
 intolerance in
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by atul.axe on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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