IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and example to support your answer.

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been an increased cases of
gun
Use synonyms
 shots owing to
possessions
Suggestion
the possessions
 of ammunitions by individuals in some nations of the world.
This
Linking Words
 issue is getting out of hand due to lack of
gun
Use synonyms
 control and has led many people to their untimely deaths. I strongly agree with the notion and my essay will buttress my point. The use of
Use synonyms
gun
Suggestion
a gun
the gun
guns
 is acceptable in some nations in order for citizens to have self-defence and stay out of
danger
Accept comma addition
danger, however
however
Linking Words
, its abuse is becoming unabated and leading to mysterious deaths of others. These countries have laws that permit individuals to have guns at home for personal
safety but
Accept comma addition
safety, but
 due to incessant shootings and killings,
such
Linking Words
 laws are being subjected to review.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
United States
Suggestion
the United States
 on a yearly basis, there have been reports of killings resulting from mishandling and abuse of ammunitions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, guns are found at home following community unrest and in the hands of those citizens who are not licensed to use firearms. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 was when a protest
occured
come to pass
occurred
 in a local community, in the middle belt of Nigeria; the protestants (majorly youths) mobbed the security officers and took the firearms. It was later recorded that those firearms were used to rob and kill innocent travellers on the highway. The aftermath of
wars
Suggestion
war
make
Suggestion
makes
 individuals possess ammunition thereby
such
Linking Words
 firearms are difficult to retrieve and the side effect is the uncontrolled use of
such
Linking Words
 firearms.
For instance
Linking Words
, it was noted a good number of Libyans carried firearms to attack neighbouring countries following the end of
Libyan government
Suggestion
the Libyan government
. In conclusion, increased cases of
gun
Use synonyms
 shots result
from
Suggestion
of
 many individuals having ammunitions at home.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: