Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #crime #government #punishment

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Every government allocates a certain proportion of its budget for the safety of its citizens. Some people opine that authorities should invest money to eradicate the root cause of

crime

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while others assert that it ought to be spent on the

punishment

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of criminals. In my opinion, uprooting the causes of

crime

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is the most effective way to make the society safer. On the one hand, there are certainly some benefits to spending money on punishing the offenders in order to set an example in front of the public. Strict

punishment

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is a lesson for people and it can create fear among them.

As a result

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, they will not want to indulge in any kind of illegal activity.

For instance

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, some nations have negligible incidences of rape because they follow stringent

punishment

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procedures to tackle

such

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cases.

However

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, I believe that it is a less effective way because when people are about to commit a

crime

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, they are not in a sober mood to think about the consequences.

On the other hand

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, investing funds to eradicate the major causes of

crime

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is a much more beneficial strategy because

this

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will dramatically decrease the

crime

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rate. The majority of illegal activities are performed by offenders due to the lack of insufficient funds and unemployment. If

such

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problems are eradicated from the society by authorities, the

crime

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figures will automatically drop.

Moreover

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, investment in removing

crime

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will lead to the foundation of an egalitarian society where people will be able to live peacefully and safely. Countries, where the

crime

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rate is zero are the happiest and Finland is a prime example of

this

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This

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is much more effective than punishing people to set an example for others because people easily forget what happened to others. In conclusion,

although

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spending money on harsh

punishment

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is a lesson for criminals and public, I think working on the main reason of

crime

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is a much more effective strategy to eliminate

crime

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completely as it will be better for the safety of people and for the progress of the country / the nation.

Submitted by itsmeunzzu on Wed Jan 08 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The leaders or directors of organisations are often older people. Some people think that young people can also be good leaders. Do you agree or disagree?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary

Some people think that history has nothings or little to tell us, while others think that studying the past can help us better understand he present.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.