The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system, in an effort to deal with the health issues involved some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

The

health

care system is a pivotal element for every inhabitant, even less when the overpopulation is occurring in the certain areas.

This

would be a huge problem with the fitness of society, unless improving the human resources in medical by introducing more physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

However

, in my viewpoint, that suggestion could avoid from

health

issues which will be investigated in

this

essay before a rational conclusion. Supporting the

sport

and exercise in the school is going to be dealt among the overweight inhabitants for the sake of a fit body.

First

and foremost, providing the athletic education in the class could draw an interest among students since it brings a game and fun as well as it could naturally make the body to be fit.

As a result

, they would prevent from any unhealthy condition.

Also

, the more student who loves to learn about that subject, the more benefits to the improvement of

health

. By means that the

health

issues would be decreasing even though the population density.

On the other hand

, they said that focusing more to the sports lessons for children in schools would probably result in children developing an interest in exercise, which might filter through to other members of their family and have a longer lasting effect.

In other words

, parents with sporty children are more likely to get involved in

sport

as a step of encouraging their children. By both parents and children being involved, it would ensure that children grow up to incorporate

sport

into their daily lives.

This

is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public

health

. By way of conclusion, introducing more about the

sport

lesson in the school could be an effective and easiest manner to keep a lifestyle from an unhealthy body in high density population. As I would state that keeping a daily exercise would be the natural method to avoid from any

health

issue.

Submitted by ishmameliaz29 on Thu Jan 09 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Environmental problems should be solved by the government instead of individuals and private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as sky diving and rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree?