some people become famous in their early age. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #age

We live in an

age

when contemporary standards allow people to obtain fame in their early

age

This

essay will discuss both drawbacks and advantages of starting

career

Suggestion

a career

as a celebrity in early ages. Generally, there are some factors that enable adolescents to be famous. To start. Internet plays

vital role

Suggestion

a vital role

this

situation as it is accessible to everyone. According to statistics,

number

Suggestion

the number

of teenagers who are trying to be

intern

Suggestion

interned

influencer

a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc

influence

influences

has increased tremendously which is the representative of expansive internet.

However

, being famous in early

age

could have some negative consequences. Starting with advantages, famous teenagers can be perceived as an ideal personality. In my honest opinion, well known kids play motivation figure for those who lack encouragement and self-confidence.

In addition

, in some countries like Turkey, Azerbaijan, parents do not support the idea of being celebrity in early

age

because they are afraid of their children facing challenges and serious issues.

However

increasing number

Suggestion

an increasing number

the increasing number

of famous children can make parents think the different way. After considering all the advantages, earning huge amount of money in early

age

can

generates

Suggestion

generate

some problems. It might seem that celebrities follow

comfortable and healthy life style

Suggestion

the comfortable and healthy lifestyle

comfortable and healthy lifestyle

;

however

, they spend their money for negative purposes which would result in indispensable and dangerous situations.

For instance

, over

past few years

Suggestion

the past few years

, so many young mumble rappers suffered from dangerous addictions

such

as illegal drugs or

overdrinking

alcoholic liquors, so these kinds of activities have

huge impact

Suggestion

a huge impact

underaged

not of legal age

underage

children. In today’s world large majority of children arrange their future plans based on properties

such

as expensive cars or mansions that celebrities possess which is not necessarily important. To summarize, in spite of

advantages

Suggestion

the advantages

, mentioned before,

disadvantages

Suggestion

the disadvantages

outweigh advantages because not only money and

reputation fame

Accept comma addition

reputation, fame

come up with but

also

problems and even death.

Submitted by eelimerdan752 on Thu Jan 09 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legal age
Marriage
Maturity
Stability
Individual choice
Freedom
Cultural practices
Religious practices
Education
Career aspirations

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some people become famous in their early age. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can A.I enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The governments should give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?c

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjets, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or this disagree?