IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

People spend a lot of money on various things as they earn more money nowadays than before. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #money #development
These days, It is conceived, that people are spending a lot of
money
 on buying different things as they earn more. I believe
this
 is a negative development.
This
 is because
money
 should be spent on better health care and on investments, which will return
income
 for the
future
. To start with, being healthy plays a vital role in one's lifestyle. Of late, it is evident that healthy food can be extremely expensive to afford for people,
That is
 to say, the
money
 they earn should be spent wisely on food, which is conducive for better health, and not on things. Apparently, not only is it beneficial to be physically fit and mentally active, but
also
 it opens door for better productivity in daily work and
also
 to be self-reliant in handling tedious tasks.
For example
, a report by The Guardian suggested that in 2017, Chinese spent their major share of
income
 on their health care, which resulted in lesser disease incidents and higher productivity,
consequently
, stood top in the world healthy nation ratings.
Moreover
, rather than spending
money
 on things which would have no return on investment, spending
money
 on potential investments for the
future
 would augur well for the
future
.
In other words
, if individuals haven't had investments for their
future
, they would not have a passive
income
 in their later stage of life, where the
income
 trends would be highly obscure.
For instance
, a study conducted at the Oxford university stated that individuals who spent their capital on investments earlier tend to be self-sufficient from their
income
 returns now.
Therefore
, it is evident that using
income
 on purchasing things is not an ideal way to spend
money
 on and
conversely
, spending on investments which aids in
future
 would be the better way. In conclusion, I am convinced that it is a negative development that people are spending their
money
 on things, which offer no value, as opposed to spending on much productive deeds like physical well-being, and on investments.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: