One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expentency is increasing. Do u think the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expentency #outweight

In the modern era

Accept space

with the help of improved medical care the

life

expectancy of person is

increases

Suggestion

increasing

increased

and they are living better and

long

Suggestion

longer

life

.I personally believe that though it is a mixed blessing

Accept space

but it has more negative implications. Looking at

bright side

Suggestion

the bright side

, there are some reasons why some say it is advantageous. The foremost one is old man can get more time to enjoy their

life

For instance

, many people want to roam around the

world but

Accept comma addition

world, but

due to paucity of time

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they are not able to

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their desire.

Besides

, youngsters got opportunities to learn new skills from

old age experienced person

Suggestion

the old age experienced person

old age experienced people

an old age experienced person

they

Suggestion

They

also

came to know about their religion, culture and rituals

Accept space

which helps

younsters

a young person of either sex

youngsters

to remain connected with their roots. The dark side of

this

development must not be ignored.

Firstly it

Accept comma addition

Firstly, its

Firstly its

effects on the population of country as death rate decreases

Accept space

overpopulation results in major issues

such

as poverty and unemployment.

Moreover

Accept space

old age experienced person do not

left

Suggestion

leave

their job

consequently

, youngsters cannot get jobs and have to face

lot

Suggestion

a lot

of difficulties.

Furthermore

Accept space

the demand for food and shelter

also

rises which result in deforestation.For more food farmers should have

being one more than one

two

grown large hectares of wheat crops. Having discussed merits and demerits, l would like to conclude increasing

life

span is counterproductive to society at large and it will fuel major problems

such

as overpopulation and deforestation.

Submitted by sumitpal.singh2000 on Sat Jan 11 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expentency is increasing. Do u think the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is common aspiration among many young peopleto run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or travel. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?