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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that having a set retirement age for everybody regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire certain age limit agree or disagree

#people #retirement #age #everybody #occupation #workers #limit
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Retirement
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 is an
age
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 when an individual takes
rest
Suggestion
the rest
from
Suggestion
of
 their
work
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 and gets paid for her services have done for
Har
of a female
her
 company. Some socialist think that having a same
age
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 limit for
Use synonyms
retirement regardless
Accept comma addition
retirement, regardless
 their profession is not
satisfy
Suggestion
satisfied
satisfying
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement in my essay I give my opinion in the favour of
this
Linking Words
 question.
To begin
Linking Words
 with that
people
Suggestion
person
 become weaker when they grow older. Certain
type
Suggestion
types
 of a circle whose are related
with
Suggestion
to
 labour class or Le man, they need to more physical
strength
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 than workers do's perform
mentally task
Suggestion
mental tasks
mental task
a mental task
. If we say in both conditions required similar
age
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 limit for
retirement
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this
Linking Words
 is not fair.
Elevar
Suggestion
 who lift heavy equipments. They cannot able to perform his task after 50
.
Accept space
.
if
Suggestion
If
do
Suggestion
done
this
Linking Words
 can cause health
issue but
Accept comma addition
issue, but
 an employee who ever
work
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 on
computer
Suggestion
the computer
a computer
 and
work
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 mentally his
work
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 up to the
age
Use synonyms
 65
.
Accept space
.
 So in both conditions equal
age
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 limit of
retirement
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 is controversial. And other reason is that which individual have been
done
Suggestion
doing
work
Use synonyms
 from long time have a right to take
retirement
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 and
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 her dreams working with long duration his efficiency level to perform
work
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 is becoming low. We say that a young person has new ideas and more
strength
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 than
old
Suggestion
an old age employee
the old age employee
old age employees
age
Use synonyms
 employee who have been
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
working
from
Suggestion
for
of
 many years. For illustrate young generation is more capable to handle computers Android and Smartphones sector. They are used to do with phone apps and online apps In
conclusion we
Accept comma addition
conclusion, we
 can say
retirement
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age
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 is same for all
work
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 type is debatable. in the condition where
work
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 is need to Physical
strength
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 ,there
retirement
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age
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 should be fixed to 50 and Other Side where
work
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 is related with mental
strength
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then
Linking Words
age
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 of
retirement
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 should be 65 or more

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • occupational demands
  • physically demanding jobs
  • mental taxation
  • health issues
  • financial security
  • pension plans
  • social contribution
  • prolonged productivity
  • personal fulfillment
  • job satisfaction
  • flexibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: