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Band 5

many people think that technology creates significant impact in the modern word? Do you agree with this statement?

#people #technology #impact #word
We are living in the modern world which grows dramatically each
days
Suggestion
day
.While, modern technology creates significant impact
in
Suggestion
on
 our society.It has always been a controversial issue in
thease
plural of that
those
this
 days.
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand, people get lots of benefits for using modern technology.In my opinion, government should take responsibility for ensuring healthy
people
Suggestion
person's
peoples'
 life. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views.
Firstly
, the advent of modern life changes makes remarkable development in the modern era.People are burdened with serious diseases.They obtain these kind of diseases from polluted atmosphere.
For example
, some people smoke cigarette in
public area
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public areas
a public area
.It influences
health
Suggestion
the health
 of passive smokers, who blame their health because of others bad habits.
Secondly
, fast
food
 makes denotable changes in our
food
 culture.Especially, teenagers emulate attractive advertisements words.
However
,
Accept space
,
Both
parent
Suggestion
parents
 work in offices. They haven't been time for cooking
food
;
Accept space
;
thereby, they order
food
 from online fast
food
 sites.
Additionally
, fat
food
 enriches with carbohydrate contents.It deposits fat inside of
body
Suggestion
the body
.In Modern world, most of the people couldn't get time for exercises.
students
Suggestion
Students
goes
Suggestion
go
 to school with institutes bus and
workers
Suggestion
worker
 utilizes lift technology.
As a result
, they do not get time for burning fat inside of
body
Suggestion
the body
.
Consequently
, it affects body strength.Folks and Pupils have become obese generations.
secondly
Suggestion
Secondly
, government must take responsibility for ensuring healthier society.They should restrict cigarettes or
drugs
Suggestion
drug
usage
Suggestion
use
 in limelight area. To put it in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that government should take responsibility for teaching healthy diet to society
;
Accept space
;
and they must void cigarettes and fast
food
 culture usage in limelight areas.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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