Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

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In the modern world, many teenagers
leaving
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leave
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study
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studies
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without a proper understanding of money management, which
detrimental
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is detrimental
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to modern society. Every individual
need
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needs
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to secure their finances in order to provide
their
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for their
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family and ensure a better life. There are many prompt reasons for
this
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matter. In
this
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essay, I elaborate on
this
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issue and how to avoid serious consequences. Nowadays, one main reason is children are wasting cash to have numerous unnecessary goods and services, even
they
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if they
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don't have a proper income,
due to
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lack
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a lack
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of knowledge regarding the value of wealth,
in addition
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until they live under their parents, the younger generation will not be able to learn how to face financial crises in the future,
as a result
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of that, those individuals may face serious consequences.
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Although
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However
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, I believe modern education does not support teaching students, how
making
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to make
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an investment or
regarding preserving
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preserve
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money
and
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apply
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without proper direction.
For instance
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, many children use to allocate funds on mobile phones,
cameras
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and cameras
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, which
is
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apply
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deprecate value in a short period.
As
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apply
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I believe, it is time has come to change the modern education system by modifying
syllabus
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syllabi
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and school in order to provide better knowledge and understand financial areas and future investment to become a successful life.
Also
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, the involvement of parents is crucial to control children's behaviour on spending by motivating
on
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apply
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investment or saving.
For example
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, investing in education will support to have a better career path.
To conclude
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,
teacher's
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teachers'
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and
parent's
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parents'
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involvement is important to save the younger generation from the financial crisis,
also
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government
requires
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is required
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to make changes in the guidance system in order to generate people who
responsible
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are responsible
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for a stable financial background.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas more coherently. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively present the main points of the essay.
Task Achievement
The response partially addresses the task but lacks depth and clarity. Expand on the reasons and solutions for the issue of students leaving high school without learning money management.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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