learning computer language has become quite compulsory in primary school education. Although it gives extra burden to children, it would be helpful in future prospect. In my opinion, this has more benefits than drawbacks.

#computer #language #school #education #burden #children #future #prospect

Nowadays, learning

computer

language has become quite compulsory in primary school education.

Although

it gives extra burden to children, it would be helpful in future prospect. In my opinion,

this

has more benefits than drawbacks.

Firstly

Computer

learning is one of the basic

requirement

Suggestion

requirements

in today’s world because all the professional works nowadays are done and stored in

computer

Suggestion

a computer

the computer

Moreover

, to obtain a job in reputed companies,

computer

skills are considered

as primary requirement

Suggestion

as a primary requirement

For example

, According to the latest survey in India 85% of people has not selected in job interview due to lack of knowledge in computers. So teaching students these

language

Suggestion

languages

earlier stage

Suggestion

earlier stages

an earlier stage

of schooling

helps

Suggestion

help

them to grasp quickly as they are known for the same.

Secondly

, a few individuals feel that students already have important subjects to learn and adding extra subject will add

extra burden

Suggestion

an extra burden

on them.

In addition

, it

also

effect

have an effect upon

affect

there

of them or themselves

their

mental health.

However

, Proper guidance of teacher and distributing of work wisely can reduce the stress of children. It is

also

parents responsibility

Suggestion

a parents' responsibility

parents' responsibility

to arrange their work in order

For instance

, one of the schools in India have added

computer

learning as

3rd language

Suggestion

a 3rd language

third grade

Suggestion

the third grade

. Students were enthusiastic to learn and was

also

able to operate the

computer

by year end. To conclude, studying

computer

is incredibly common. While it is

matter

Suggestion

a matter

of concern for young persons, it is in

fact these

Accept comma addition

fact, these

circumstances that lead to the main advantage of personal growth. As a contradiction of sorts, it is hardship that

ultimately make

Suggestion

ultimately makes

learning more advantageous than disadvantageous.

Submitted by a.mirza on Mon Jan 13 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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learning computer language has become quite compulsory in primary school education. Although it gives extra burden to children, it would be helpful in future prospect. In my opinion, this has more benefits than drawbacks.

Your opinion

As the demand for oil and gas continues to rise, there is a growing need to explore these energy sources in remote locations. Do you believe the benefits of exploiting these areas outweigh the drawbacks of causing environmental damage?

There are more and more effective security measures in large cities to reduce the crime. Does this endeavor bring more benefits than problems?

some believe that single-sex school students perform better academically. However, others believe that both geneder schools provide children with best social skills for adulthood. Discuss both perspective and give opinion.