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Band 5.5

The amount of violence in movies has increased. What effect does this have on viewers? Should governments censor movies?

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Introduction
Despite being a great source of entertainment, some movies,
such
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 as
action
Suggestion
active
 ones, might have negative impacts on their audience. In my opinion, there has to be some sort of censorship by governments
on
Suggestion
in
this
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 field of industry to protect people from
such
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 impacts
.
Accept space
.
Body paragraph 1
Away from entertainment, motion pictures could have their dark side; they could implant negative psychological disorders in their viewers, youth
in particular
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. As youths are the most vulnerable category of people that tend to imitate what they watch on screens,
that is
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 why their attitude may become more violent and aggressive by the influence of brutal scenes. In Egypt, there has been a remarkable change in the behaviour of people under 18 in terms of increased harassment and prevalence of white weapons after the appearance of Al Subki action movies, which have
high dose
Suggestion
a high dose
high doses
 of violence and profanity.
Therefore
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, the more violence people watch, the more brutal they become.
Body paragraph 2
Owing to the previous argument, I believe that governments have to impose some serious measures to help mitigate those deleterious impacts on young generations.
Firstly
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, there must be a law that prevents people who are under 16 from attending violent action and horror films in cinemas side by side with a guide that shows detailed contents about films for parents at home.
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Secondly and
Accept comma addition
Secondly, and
 more importantly, governments should establish associations to censorship movies’ contents before filming them, and Censorship on Artistic Work Organisation in Jordan is a salient example
for
Suggestion
of
this
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 which puts all films under scrutiny to prevent the inappropriate ones.
Conclusion
By way of conclusion, through movies, violence can affect people negatively, and I hold the notion that if governments offered more supervision on these movies, there would be less harmful effects on
audience
Suggestion
audiences
the audience
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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