In some countries around the world men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why this happened? What are the effects on society and family life?
There is a trend in some countries where young couples prefer to have
children
later in life compared to previous generations. This
phenomenon is inevitable given the changes in modern society, and it has significant effects on both society and family life.
The rising cost of living and longer education processes are key factors contributing to this
phenomenon. Unlike in the past, the prices of properties and vehicles have skyrocketed to a level that is
difficult for young couples to afford, even if they spend a large portion of their lives working. Furthermore
, these material conditions are considered necessary for raising children
well. These financial difficulties make young men and women lose confidence in becoming parents early in life, so they consider having children
later after achieving financial or career success. Another possible reason is the extended education process due to
increased competition in modern society. Younger generations are forced to attain higher degrees in response to rising hiring standards, resulting in an older average age at graduation. Consequently
, the age of having children
is delayed as young people focus on their own lives after finishing their education.
This
trend has several notable effects. The most obvious one is the aging
problem caused by later maternity, which can decrease the Change the spelling
ageing
labor
force in a particular period. In the long term, the social welfare system could be affected Change the spelling
labour
due to
the decline in the working population, leading to an imbalance between taxpayers and the retired population.
However
, despite these disadvantages, later maternity can also
benefit families. Older parents can better educate their children
with more social experience and provide better material conditions. Additionally
, since they have passed the stage of striving for a career, they have more time and energy to spend with their children
.Submitted by zengchen0522 on
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task achievement
You should include more specific examples to better illustrate your points. For example, you could mention specific countries where the trend of delayed parenthood is prevalent.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph contains clear and logically connected ideas. While your essay is generally coherent, there are places where the flow could be improved by using more linking words or phrases.
coherence
Try to make your introduction and conclusion stronger by briefly summing up your main points more clearly. This will make your argument more compelling and focused.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough response to the prompt, addressing both reasons for the trend and its effects on society and family life.
coherence
You have a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument. The paragraphs are well-organized and contribute to the flow of the essay.
coherence
The essay benefits from having a solid introduction and conclusion, each fulfilling its role in framing the discussion and summarizing the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.