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Band 4.5

people nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. what do you think is the reason behind this? what are the effects in individuals and people around them?

#people #reason #effects #individuals
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People today don’t get as much
as sleep they
Suggestion
sleep as they
 did in the past. There is a reason causing
this
 issue affecting not only their own
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
also
 relatives and associates. We are living in an era in which social status emerges in wealth and success. So, if people want to be respected by society, they should put effort into their jobs and shoulder various responsibilities. Due to
this
 fact, there is no enough time for other activities
such
 as sleep.
In contrast
, providing a convenient lifestyle that money and success didn’t play a major role in, the approach to the
life
 was much easier in the past. People had been living their simple lives until the arrival of modern
life
 impelled them to restrict some activities
such
 as sleep to
work
 harder. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep has led to detrimental effects on
humans’
Suggestion
human
life
. As it is proved, the amount of sleep and mental health are inextricably bound up with each other.
Hence
, lack of sleep exerts a negative influence over individual’s mental stability. Low concentration and tiredness can be mentioned as two main
consequences bringing
Accept comma addition
consequences, bringing
 about less efficiency.
As a result
, job mistakes go up rapidly and spoil not only the individual’s
work
 but
also
 the team. To compensate these mistakes, people should
work
 even harder and they would be caught in a vicious circle: The more they
work
, the less they can sleep.
Furthermore
, it
also hurt
Suggestion
also hurts
 their
relationships
Suggestion
relationship
. As mental instability, they wouldn’t be inclined to communicate and would distant from their relatives which is hurtful for both sides. Having said that, people don’t sleep as much as before to
work
 more.
This
 happening results in mental disorders
such
 as lack of concentration and tiredness. The effects of these predicaments are not only confined to
sleepers but
Accept comma addition
sleepers, but
also
 their acquaintances.
Submitted by vm20012016 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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