IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#countries #proportion #people #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that nowadays people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before.
Although
Linking Words
 there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences
to
Suggestion
of
this
Linking Words
 trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems. As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will
therefore
Linking Words
 receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population.
In other words
Linking Words
, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden of working adults.
Further
Linking Words
 pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the fact young adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives. There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of
this
Linking Words
 age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A
second
Linking Words
 measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes.
Finally
Linking Words
, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent for vital
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising
numbers
Suggestion
number
 of senior citizens. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.
Submitted by mickey.yu.cj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: