IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Crime rates within our society are increasing at a very rapid rate. Give causes and solutions.

#crime #rates #society #rate
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The soaring
crime
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rate
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 is often at the top of the agenda throughout the world as the leading problem in the 21st century.
This
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 essay will explore how
poverty
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 and lack of effective education systems are the major contributing factors of increasing
crime
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, and how through governmental support and reforms in the educational
system
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,
this
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 issue Can be curtailed. There are multiple factors that are considered responsible for igniting crimes.
Firstly
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, the poor economic condition of families is deemed as a root cause of
this
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 issue. As with the increase in inflation, people are striving hard to make both ends meet which induces pressure on them to earn money by any mean. Take an example of Africa, where the majority of the people, who belong to the poor families, get involved in crimes to feed their dependents.
Thus
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,
poverty
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 is the
fueling
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 force behind burgeoning
crime
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 rates.
Secondly
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, an ineffective education
system
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 is considered a breeding ground for augmenting
crime
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 rates. As with the present curriculum, youngsters find it hard to differentiate between right and wrong paths. Mentors put stress on students to earn good grades
instead
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 of shaping their moral values.
For example
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, the largest jail in Australia has been found to have a higher proportion of school-going youngsters.
Hence
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, the ill-educational
system
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 does fuel
this
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 issue.
However
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, there are certain pragmatic measures that can be taken to reduce the conviction
rate
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. The government should shoulder the responsibilities of people with limited resources by giving them financial support as
this
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 will
results
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result
 in a reduction in
crime
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rate
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 due to
poverty
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.
Furthermore
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, amendments to the educational
system
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 would
also
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 be a better alternative. Through these changes, curriculum and methods of assessment would be redesigned which will ultimately produce a better society. To sum up, even though
poverty
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 and ineffective schooling are a widespread cause of an increase in
crime
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rate
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, but through higher authorities’ support
to
Suggestion
of
 the poor families and educational reforms,
this
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 problem can be curbed.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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