Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The

music

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possesses a huge impact on our lives. Many believe that it brings people near to each other, regardless of the differences in ages and cultural backgrounds. I completely disagree with

this

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statement. The

music

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feeds our souls. It is a way of connecting between people from different areas. As an illustration, the pop

music

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is not only popular in the western world, but Asians are

also

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fans of

such

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music

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category. The blogs on the social media in which details about pop singers are discussed, receives the responses of people of all ages and throughout the world.

Therefore

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, the

music

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brings people closer to each other by receiving common responses from all over the world. The

music

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produces a negative impact on the diversity of cultures. Owing to

this

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fact, people deter themselves to listen to the international

music

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Consequently

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, they listen to their regional songs.

Furthermore

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, people of all ages have various types of

music

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preferences.

For instance

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, a recent survey in Pakistan suggests that older people are more inclined towards local classical songs.

On the contrary

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, the youngsters want to listen to the international

music

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Hence

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, considering the diverse

music

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choices opted by people,

music

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cannot be suggested as a way to bring people near to each other. To conclude, it is believed by many that the

music

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can be considered as a tool which brings people from different backgrounds and ages close to each other.

However

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, I completely disagree that

music

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can unite and connect people.

Submitted by maharsumera on Tue Jan 14 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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