Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The

music

possesses a huge impact on our lives. Many believe that it brings people near to each other, regardless of the differences in ages and cultural backgrounds. I completely disagree with

this

statement. The

music

feeds our souls. It is a way of connecting between people from different areas. As an illustration, the pop

music

is not only popular in the western world, but Asians are

also

fans of

such

music

category. The blogs on the social media in which details about pop singers are discussed, receives the responses of people of all ages and throughout the world.

Therefore

, the

music

brings people closer to each other by receiving common responses from all over the world. The

music

produces a negative impact on the diversity of cultures. Owing to

this

fact, people deter themselves to listen to the international

music

Consequently

, they listen to their regional songs.

Furthermore

, people of all ages have various types of

music

preferences.

For instance

, a recent survey in Pakistan suggests that older people are more inclined towards local classical songs.

On the contrary

, the youngsters want to listen to the international

music

Hence

, considering the diverse

music

choices opted by people,

music

cannot be suggested as a way to bring people near to each other. To conclude, it is believed by many that the

music

can be considered as a tool which brings people from different backgrounds and ages close to each other.

However

, I completely disagree that

music

can unite and connect people.

Submitted by maharsumera on Tue Jan 14 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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