Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damanging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by education people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss buth view and give your opinion.
many communities assume that
this
problem can be addressed by teaching the community
while
others question its practicality. Personally, this
writer doubts the effectiveness of education in dealing with this
issue.
It must be acknowledged that education can raise the community
's awareness about the harmful impact of junk
food
on their health. This
approach can be conducted by showing the bad impact of junk
food
such
as diabetes, cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis. As a result
, if people
realize the negative impact of junk
food
on their health, they will restrict eating them.
However
, some individuals believe that this
habit is ineffective. For
this
reason, this
approach only works with people
who are open-minded. Therefore
, it is only effective with the majority of the community
and cannot be applied on a large scale. Research conducted by dieticians shows that after warning students about the impacts of junk
food
, many people
still consume that food
because they cannot resist their carving.
Personally, this
writer doubts the effectiveness of this
method. Today, the community
appreciate productivity and they have to work hard and have less time to prepare food
themselves. Therefore
, eating fast food
helps them to save and have more time for other activities. To illustrate this
, many people
admit that they usually buy fast food
for breakfast and eat it while
travelling to work to save time.
In conclusion, education can be used to mitigate the negative effects of fast food
on a community
’s health but this
technique is not always true with all society. Therefore
, this
writer concludes that this
habit should not be used on a large scaleSubmitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of both viewpoints discussed in your essay. This will set the stage for a more balanced discussion and make your argument clearer.
Examples
You should include more examples to support your points. Providing specific, relevant examples helps to clarify your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Structure
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences and logical transitions. This will enhance the flow of your essay and improve its coherence.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should summarize the main points of the essay and reflect on both viewpoints discussed. Make sure it ties back to the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
Overall
The essay provides a clear opinion on the issue and attempts to discuss both viewpoints.
Content
You have identified multiple impacts of junk food on health (diabetes, cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis) which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Engagement
Your writing demonstrates an effort to address the prompt and engage with the issue from different perspectives.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!