IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

"IT IS SAID THAT SELF-STUDY IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL STUDENTS". Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#self-study #school #students #support
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In
this
 competitive society, there has been considerable debate on whether independent studying is of paramount importance. In my opinion, I go
along with
this
 learning method, and in
this
 essay, I will support my belief with detailed explanations and specific examples.
Firstly
,
self-study
 reinforces classroom knowledge and improves retention. When
students
 review and practice what they have learned in class through
self-study
, it helps solidify their understanding and improves long-term retention. By revisiting concepts independently,
students
 can identify areas of weakness and address them before exams or assessments.
For example
, a student studying history can use
self-study
 to create flashcards, summarize key events, or engage in online quizzes to reinforce their understanding of historical facts and concepts.
This
 active engagement with the material enhances learning and leads to better academic performance.
Secondly
, it is undeniable that self-studying pupils can collect experiences
as a result
 of self-research. A survey at Oxford University has revealed that
students
 who apply independent studying methods are more supportive, responsible and collaborative than those who do not opt for it.
In addition
 to
this
,
self-study
 might be a better approach to specific
students
 than traditional education. In conclusion,
self-study
 is indeed crucial for secondary school
students
. It promotes independence, allows for the exploration of personal interests, and reinforces classroom knowledge. By engaging in
self-study
,
students
 develop important skills that will benefit them in higher education and beyond. Based on those reasons, I firmly believe that independence in studying plays a crucial role in
students
' knowledge retention.
Submitted by trungnh283 on

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coherence cohesion
Continue to use a variety of linking words to maintain coherence, but be mindful not to overuse them which might affect the natural flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To further improve, consider integrating even more varied sentence structures and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the complexity of your writing.
task achievement
While your essay provides a clear position, working on presenting counter-arguments could provide a more balanced view before concluding with your stance. This adds depth to your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay. This establishes a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the survey at Oxford University, strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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