IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
The process in which people, ideas, technology and goods are exchanged worldwide in order to develop more interaction between countries is called
globalization
.
Globalization
 plays an important role in boosting the economy of any country.
Therefore
, I strongly agreed that the benefits of
this
 development are more significant as compared to its drawbacks. (53) We had seen in the past the people had limited resources and lack of technology.
Therefore
, they were unable to communicate and develop relations with i
nternational community.
Suggestion
the international community
Thus
, there was no concept of
globalization
 in the past. (37) Presently, the
globalization
 is revolutionizing the entire
world
 around us. Nowadays, it is not only providing s
imilar way
Suggestion
a similar way
of life in different countries, but
also
 making our lives more comfortable.
For example
, consumers are now able to buy s
imilar product
Suggestion
a similar product
similar products
of International brands from any part of the
world
.
Moreover
, the modern means of telecommunication like i
nternet
Suggestion
the internet
and cell phone has greatly reduced the gaps and conflicts between people as well as countries.
In addition
, the concept of online business has opened new horizons for I
nternational community.
Suggestion
the International community
Although
,
globalization
 has some drawbacks like risks of social security on the internet,
however
, its advantages are far greater than its disadvantages. (109) The recent development in science and technology has transformed the whole
world
 into a global village.
Thus
, if the
globalization
 keeps on opening new doors of similarity f
or
Suggestion
to
people,
then
 the whole
world
 will soon become similar in every respect. (40)
Thus
, I believed that it is the
globalization
 that enabled the people to look similar across the globe.
Hence
, the benefits of
this
 development are undeniable. (26)
Submitted by mamir.amirshahzad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: