IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is thought by some that its better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#city #life #countryside
People are always arguing about what is more beneficial, to live in an urban town or in rural areas. Personally, I think that
city
 residents are able to obtain more advantages
such
 as
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 education
rang
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
 and
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 level of medical help.
However
, in the given essay I will discuss both views.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
one
 hand, I guess that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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big
city
 life can give better opportunities for its inhabitants,
due to
 the
big
Correct word choice
wide
show examples
 variety of options for education and more possibilities for employment.
In other words
, people
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 not just
find
Fix the infinitive
to find
show examples
 an available job, they might choose the best
one
 from the many other options.
For example
, Russian scientist Mikhail Lomonosov,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was born in a rural area where even school education
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 unavailable. Mikhail reached the destination of 1000km by foot from his village to Moscow and
finally
 became
one
 of the most talented Russian professors.
In addition
, in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
urgent medical care is not always available
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 quality is not good enough either, because of the lack of professionals. In
this
case
Add a comma
case,
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 the big distance to the
city
 can
ends
Change the verb form
end
show examples
 up with a detrimental outcome.
For example
, the latest news reported about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 car accident outside of the
city
, where
injured
Correct article usage
the injured
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 been waiting for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical care for 3 hours. Fortunately, that situation had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 happy
end
Replace the word
ending
show examples
 and there were no victims, but
this
 is a situation
for thinking
Change preposition
to think
show examples
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
 To summarize, I have discussed
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both options, but I
convinced
Add a missing verb
am convinced
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life in a
city
 is much better than in a small town.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but there are issues with the logical structure of the essay. The ideas are not interconnected effectively.
task achievement
The response is somewhat complete, but there are issues with presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. The relevant specific examples are lacking or not developed enough.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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