Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education #work #car #mechanics #builders #society

Many are of the opinion that

young generation

Suggestion

the young generation

should go to

university

to continue their higher

education

; while others,

however claim

Accept comma addition

however, claim

that they should

been

Suggestion

inspired to work as car mechanics, builders or vocational workers. It seems to me that both educational and technical training is important for our youngsters.

To begin

with, there is no doubt that

education

is the part and parcel of our life.

Education

is one of the

medium

Suggestion

mediums

which helps us to play a vital role in

these

denotes a person or thing

this

global village. Parents should go their juveniles into

university

after completing their college life.

Although

today's parents are very

concious

intentionally conceived

conscious

about their

children

Suggestion

children's

child's

education

. To illustrate

this

, a study

have shown

Suggestion

has shown

that parents want to send their children abroad to pursue their

university

education

Its

Suggestion

It's

not only makes their children

educated but

Accept comma addition

educated, but

also

build up their general

knowlenge

the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning

knowledge

to keep pace with

this

competitive world. As a consequence, they might be able to work for their

country

Suggestion

country's

welfare.

In contrast

university

learning should not be our only goal. Because its only gives us knowledge and

broden

make broader

broaden

broadens

our outlook. People should active some vocational

work namely

Accept comma addition

work, namely

mechanics

Accept space

electricians

Accept space

builders and so on. A recent study conducted by the

University

Torento

the provincial capital and largest city in Ontario (and the largest city in Canada)

Toronto

showed that, 70% of Chinese and 78% of Japanese people were taking part in vocational works in 2019. The

vocatioanl

of or relating to a vocation or occupation; especially providing or undergoing training in special skills

vocational

vacation

workers

plays

Suggestion

play

a significant role

Suggestion

their country development. To sum

up,

Suggestion

up this essay,

up, this essay

up, this issue

this

eassy based on the reflections seen above certainly agree with the both views. Indeed, both

university

study and some certain vocational works

are significantly play

Suggestion

are significantly playing

have significantly played

a great role

Suggestion

the development of the country.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

higher education
vocational training
skillset
employment landscape
economic contributions
hands-on experience
critical thinking skills
practical knowledge
tuition fees
trade professions
essential workforce
academic qualifications

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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