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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #attention
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It is generally believed that our lifestyle has been changed dramatically due to the blessing of modern communication system and smooth access to the information and technologies.
As a result
Linking Words
, parents hardly can manage
time
Use synonyms
 for their
children which
Accept comma addition
children, which
 brings a number of negative effects on their bearing.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, staying with parents at
early stage
Suggestion
an early stage
the early stage
 of a person's life is considered to be the prime factor for his
well
Suggestion
good
 upbringing. Family is the
first
Linking Words
 institution where he learns basic thing including language by imitating his parents. So if parents spend less
time
Use synonyms
 with their child, it causes negative effects on their brain. A study conducted by
the the
definite article
the
 Statistical Analysis Department at the University of New Hampshire on 300 teenagers who are less attentive at school and less intelligent in a high school where it found near 40% of teenagers had a communication gap with their parents and spend less
time
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to, more
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 now a days are getting involved with crime as their parents
does not look
Suggestion
do not look
 after what their
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 are doing. Wall Street conducted a survey
at
Suggestion
in
 a small city in New York on how the children who receives less
time
Use synonyms
 from their parents leading
Linking Words
then
objective case of they
them
than
than than
 to crime and the survey result revealed that crimes conducted by the children were between 12 and 17 have been drastically raised twice comparing with the previous decade and the prime factor was said to be the less
time
Use synonyms
 that the parents spent on their children.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it
can not
can not
cannot
 be ignored that children can get much
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with
himself
that male; objective male pronoun
him
 which boost their self dependence. Henry Robert, a renowned psychologist claimed that in
individualistic society
Suggestion
an individualistic society, for
an individualistic society for
individualistic societies for
for
Linking Words
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
Norway where
Accept comma addition
Norway, where
 parents want their children to learn self dependence from early stage and can tackle problems by their individual effort. Children from these
society
Suggestion
societies
 can stand
at
Suggestion
on
 their own feet. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 spending less
tine
an instance or single occasion for some event
time
 with children has a small number of perceived
benefits but
Accept comma addition
benefits, but
 it brings
severals
(used with count nouns) of an indefinite number more than 2 or 3 but not many
several
 negative effects for the children and parents must invest more
time
Use synonyms
 on the look after of their children.
Submitted by sajjadrony86 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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