Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages.?

It is true that some pupils take one year gap between secondary level education and University study. While,
this
trend has some
demerits but
Accept comma addition
demerits, but
I personally believe that its advantages are far superior than its disadvantages. The
first
and foremost advantage is that helps to reduce the burden of their parents. If the students utilise
this
time period for earning money by
doing some work
Suggestion
is some work, then they collecting
is some work then they collecting
then
they collect funds for their University fees which is expensive in these days. Eventually,
learner
Suggestion
the learner
learners
a learner
can able to reduce the stress of University fees from their parents.
another
Suggestion
Another
worth mentioning advantage is that pupils get a chance to enhance their knowledge related to other culture and background by travelling to different places.
As a result
, they can valuable experience while travelling which makes their mind set very broaden.
In addition
, it is a time when people will explore their interest in different field as well as able to identify their actual measures so they will make their future bright by choosing the right choice and set the goal.
it
Suggestion
It
happens only when they find their interesting field.
Moreover
, when they do some work in
this
time period they get work experience which will be added into the resume and it is considered as more beneficial at workstation as well University when they have been selected why higher authorities. On Another side,
this
trend has some demerits which can not be Irrefutable.
firstly
Suggestion
Firstly
, learners will lose their interest by taking a break from study.
because
Suggestion
Because
they find it very difficult to establish
connection
Suggestion
a connection
with their study as well they are
divided
Suggestion
dividing
their interest for making money. To conclude,
although
this
trend has some
disadvantages but
Accept comma addition
disadvantages, but
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
still opine that
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
benefits are more prominent than it's
drawback
Suggestion
drawbacks
a drawback
.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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