IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

Some parents allow their teenage children to live independently, away from home. Other parents don’t want their teenage children to live away from them. Which do you think is better and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parents around the world have different styles of raising their children, some may be strict and others may be lenient. A number of teenagers are allowed to live by themselves, far away from home, whilst others are under close supervision of their parents. In my opinion, I think kids should not be permitted to live independently and I will give reasons to support my position in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenagers can be carefree, irresponsible and with little or no experience about life, they make wrong decisions. Allowing an adolescent to be completely self-reliant is a disaster waiting to happen.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise due to children who lack parental guidance.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some exceptions may be allowed when teenagers live independently in boarding schools under the supervision of teachers and mentors.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, studies have shown that teenagers who lived with their parents until their early twenties turn out to make better life choices than those who lived alone from the age of thirteen upwards.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, adolescents who stay with their parents do not concern themselves with accommodation or their
next
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 meal which poses as a distraction to their academic lives. Whereas, those who live alone are plagued by these concerns.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 shows that parental guidance is important in shaping the life of a young adult. In conclusion, teenagers should be allowed to remain under close supervision of their parents in order to help them become responsible adults in the future. Even though some parents tolerate their wards to be self-reliant with the purpose of making them mature quickly, it does come with a lot or risks. Parents should be fully present in parenting their children until they are old enough to live responsibly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • life skills
  • accountability
  • guidance
  • self-esteem
  • navigating challenges
  • decision-making
  • transition to adulthood
  • negative influences
  • support system
  • parental supervision
  • life choices
  • growth opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: