IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic – Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitude are important. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 expeditiously evolving world, education, which was once a little part of our lives, is now a paramount step towards a successful career. Some people believe that
a
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apply
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successful learning is primarily dependent on the quality of teachers.
Whereas
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, others propound that it depends on students’ determination. I will discuss both
the
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apply
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views and provide my outlook diligently for a
bird’s-eye
Correct your spelling
bird ’ s-eye
 stance. On the
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
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, it is speculated that, students, who struggle to win the education battle alone, learn what they are taught by their mentors.
As a result
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, an excellent teacher will lead to educational success.
Also
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, numerous pupils consider their teachers as their role models. To illustrate, I was extremely bad
in
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at
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 mathematics. It is because of my teacher that I scored great marks in primary
as well as
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 in secondary board examinations.
Furthermore
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, our education system has been designed in
such
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 a way that our pupils’ hard work should be complemented by excellent mentors for their success.
On the other hand
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, some pragmatists reckon that
a knowledge
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knowledge
a piece of knowledge
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 is a two-way street. If students’ aspirations are not high,
then
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 no teacher can
succour
Verb problem
succeed
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 them.
Consequently
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, it becomes imperative for an aspirant to have a positive attitude to succeed in all
the
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apply
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educational exams. To illustrate, every year, many people clear national and international level entrance exams like UPSC, GRE and IIT-JEE with their perennial efforts and determination.
Moreover
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, a teacher’s main job is to guide his students. The hard work has to be done by the aspirants.
To conclude
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, I postulate that brilliant teachers and their guidance are indispensable for students’ successful
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,
although
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 pupils must have a strong inclination towards achieving their goals.
Therefore
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, a true balance between
mentor’s
Correct article usage
a mentor’s
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 guidance and his student’s hard work is intrinsic

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task response
Ensure a more balanced representation of both views in the body paragraphs for a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence and cohesion
You have demonstrated a good introduction and conclusion, keep consistency in maintaining a coherent and cohesive structure throughout the essay.
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