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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

#obesity #disease #adults #children
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There is no doubt these days the obesity is playing a major role in our lives.
However
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, the obesity is a popular health issue among the children today. Is considered
one
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 of the most controversial issues today. In
this
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 essay I am going to examine some of the overweight factors before I will write the suggest the solutions. There are many factors lead the children to eat more than their need.
First
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 factor is the sedentary lifestyle. Electronic devices,
for example
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, are playing a major role in decreasing the amounts of daily activity.
In other words
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, we do not need to do any movement to turn on the air condition or to open the TV or to open our outside door, everything has remote device to control it while you are setting.
Second
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 factor linked to the
first
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one
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, electronic games are taking most of the children's time, so they are not playing any kinetic games
such
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 as football or tennis. These kinds of activities are helping them to burn calories and decrease their weight.
Third
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 factor is the fast food,
this
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 contributing a huge role in increasing the weight. These junk foods are having a lot of calories and contain of large amounts of fat,
that is
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 what is making it tastier. A good illustration of
that is
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one
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 fast food meal per day equals three healthy meals. In conclusion, we can say that we must encourage our children to join in the activity that help them to walk and do any kind of movement and we must control their time in electronic games as well we must prevent them from eating junk food and we should replace it with a healthy
one
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. These will reduce the number of overweight in the world.
Submitted by nehad.adeel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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