IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraging as it is good for both employers and workers. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#computers #modems #office #workers #work #home #offices #employers #answers
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Nowadays, most companies give two options to their employers to choose their workplace. They can
work
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 in their
house
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 or they can attend the building where everybody works together. Some
people
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 believe that
,
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apply
show examples
 the
home
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office
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 system should be more common among
workers
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.
While
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 others think that working from
home
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 should be banned. I personally disagree that working from
home
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 can bring some harmful consequences for
workers
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. There are two vital effects which can affect
people
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's business lives negatively. First of the disadvantages is that individuals can not benefit from their colleagues because of the lack of interaction. They might not be able to access them when they want to ask any question about their job.
Also
Linking Words
, it can reduce
productivity
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the productivity
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 of the companies because when they make some mistakes, nobody can fix their problem.
For instance
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,
people
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 who
work
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 in the
office
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 can collaborate with their friends and they can find much better ideas by discussing their opinions.
As a result
Linking Words
, working at the
office
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 can provide a lot of helpful options to the
workers
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 .
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
home
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office
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 system can increase the number of lazy
people
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 in society. They can get used to staying in a chair all day. They might not have any problem with their commute so they can even wake up 10 minutes before their start time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can lose their accountability for their
work
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 ethic.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who works from their
house
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 may be allowed to
work
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 in their pyjamas. They are not obliged to think about their job requirements.
As a result
Linking Words
, working from the
house
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 can cause
people
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 to become lazier. In conclusion, there are some disadvantages of choosing the
home
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office
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 system by
workers
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. It can affect their life quality negatively.
Also
Linking Words
, it can decline the quality of doing business because in the
house
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, finding solutions to a problem can take so much more time than working with
the
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apply
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colleagues. From my perspective, working from
home
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 should be banned.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging benefits of working from home while arguing for the office work, to fully address the prompt.
Introduction
Enhancing your introduction by clearly stating your opinion can make your stance more apparent from the beginning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to diversify sentence structures and use a range of linking words to improve flow and cohesion.
Supported Main Points
Including more specific examples or data to support your points can strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Body Content
Be cautious of overgeneralizations. Qualifying statements can make your argument more nuanced.
Task Response
You have a clear thesis that argues against working from home, which is good for task response.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your key points, reinforcing your argument.
Paragraph Structure
You demonstrated an ability to form coherent paragraphs, each focusing on a different disadvantage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommuting
  • Remote work
  • Flexibility
  • Productivity
  • Collaboration tools
  • Cybersecurity
  • Work-life balance
  • Carbon footprint
  • Virtual meetings
  • Autonomy
  • Digital nomad
  • Telework infrastructure
  • Ergonomic workspace
  • Connectivity issues
  • Time management
  • Self-discipline
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