Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraging as it is good for both employers and workers. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays, most companies give two options to their employers to choose their workplace. They can

work

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in their

house

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or they can attend the building where everybody works together. Some

people

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believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

home

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office

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system should be more common among

workers

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While

Linking Words

others think that working from

home

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should be banned. I personally disagree that working from

home

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can bring some harmful consequences for

workers

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. There are two vital effects which can affect

people

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's business lives negatively. First of the disadvantages is that individuals can not benefit from their colleagues because of the lack of interaction. They might not be able to access them when they want to ask any question about their job.

Also

Linking Words

, it can reduce

productivity

Add an article

the productivity

show examples

of the companies because when they make some mistakes, nobody can fix their problem.

For instance

Linking Words

people

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who

work

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in the

office

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can collaborate with their friends and they can find much better ideas by discussing their opinions.

As a result

Linking Words

, working at the

office

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can provide a lot of helpful options to the

workers

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Secondly

Linking Words

, the

home

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office

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system can increase the number of lazy

people

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in society. They can get used to staying in a chair all day. They might not have any problem with their commute so they can even wake up 10 minutes before their start time.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they can lose their accountability for their

work

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ethic.

For example

Linking Words

, a person who works from their

house

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may be allowed to

work

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in their pyjamas. They are not obliged to think about their job requirements.

As a result

Linking Words

, working from the

house

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can cause

people

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to become lazier. In conclusion, there are some disadvantages of choosing the

home

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office

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system by

workers

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. It can affect their life quality negatively.

Also

Linking Words

, it can decline the quality of doing business because in the

house

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, finding solutions to a problem can take so much more time than working with

the

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apply

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colleagues. From my perspective, working from

home

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should be banned.

hsmkashiTue Apr 23 2024

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Task Achievement

Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging benefits of working from home while arguing for the office work, to fully address the prompt.

Introduction

Enhancing your introduction by clearly stating your opinion can make your stance more apparent from the beginning.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to diversify sentence structures and use a range of linking words to improve flow and cohesion.

Supported Main Points

Including more specific examples or data to support your points can strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.

Body Content

Be cautious of overgeneralizations. Qualifying statements can make your argument more nuanced.

Task Response

You have a clear thesis that argues against working from home, which is good for task response.

Conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your key points, reinforcing your argument.

Paragraph Structure

You demonstrated an ability to form coherent paragraphs, each focusing on a different disadvantage.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Telecommuting
Remote work
Flexibility
Productivity
Collaboration tools
Cybersecurity
Work-life balance
Carbon footprint
Virtual meetings
Autonomy
Digital nomad
Telework infrastructure
Ergonomic workspace
Connectivity issues
Time management
Self-discipline

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