IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. However, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#countries #fuels #oil #sources #energy #alternative #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As a result
Linking Words
 of the environmental problems which have resulted from traditional dependence on fossil fuels, some countries have invested in
alternative
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 sources.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some dangers in
this
Linking Words
 new approach, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are certainly some negative consequences of increasing reliance on
alternative
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 sources. Perhaps the main concern is the issue of safety. Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 is criticized for its potential to pollute the environment, and incidents
such
Linking Words
 as the disaster at Fukushima Daiichi in Japan remind the public of the dangers of nuclear plants. The poisonous and radioactive emissions produced by the explosion not only killed many people, but
also
Linking Words
 left a legacy of cancer deaths
for
Suggestion
in
 the future. Another
energy
Use synonyms
 source, wind
power
Use synonyms
, is criticized for a different reason.
For example
Linking Words
, many local communities oppose the installation of wind farms because they may affect the landscape and create too much noise from their generators.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the key factor is that
alternative
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 sources do not cause as much pollution as the burning of fossil fuels,
such
Linking Words
 as oil or coal.
Firstly
Linking Words
, green
power
Use synonyms
 sources are eco-friendly and do not contribute to air pollution. As there are no carbon emissions,
problems
Suggestion
the problems
 of climate change and poor air quality can be tackled by increasing use of
alternative
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, wind and solar
power
Use synonyms
 are both renewable sources of
energy
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
 of depending on fossil fuels, which are becoming exhausted, the use of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 will guarantee a boundless supply of
energy
Use synonyms
 for the future generation. In conclusion, I consider that it is important for governments and the public to support the use of
alternative
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 sources, despite the safety concerns and other impacts.
Submitted by hnamca on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • renewable energy
  • solar power
  • wind energy
  • hydroelectricity
  • geothermal
  • biomass
  • sustainability
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable development
  • energy efficiency
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • ecosystems
  • natural resources
  • energy consumption
  • carbon emissions
  • environmental degradation
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: